Thursday, September 22, 2011

Wanting More of Him

Friends, at times I think my blog can leave you with the impression that my world is tidy, neat, put-together, and well-maintained.  I hope you can see through that to realize that I am just flat normal.  I have up days, I have down days, I have days that don't go my way at all.  Normal.  Very normal.

For example, last week my seven-year-old had a challenging day.  He got distracted with LEGO's at 7:45 am and failed to get ready for school in a timely fashion.  I then grounded him from most of his LEGO's in light of this choice.  Next, he informed me that he didn't want to do the dishes--a typical morning chore.  He had it organized in his mind that this particular job was no longer his responsibility.  Period.  Swift and decisive consequences were put into place for that.  When it came time for me to follow through with those clear consequences he then wanted to show me who was boss.

Consequences.  I state the situation clearly.  "This behavior is unacceptable.  I won't tolerate it.  You are acting out of selfish ambition.  You are not choosing humility, submission, or obedience."  If needed I'll then move on to declare future consequences.  At times, I'll revue and then declare: "Your failure to submit to authority earlier meant that you were grounded from most of your LEGO's for three days.  When you failed to do the dishes you were then grounded from _____.  You are now bucking the system and failing to adhere to the boundaries that were established.  If this continues you'll encounter _____."

He did not want to have anything to do with the ground rules that were established.  He wanted to play by his rules.  Period.  It was not pretty.  It was heartbreaking, discouraging, and frustrating.  Laborious.  Lengthy.  A struggle.

Do you ever have days that fatigue?  Discourage?  Wear you down?  Man, that was not a pretty day.

My son's passion for control was his idol--and still is, frankly.  He was willing to threaten, punish, and sin to get exactly what he wanted.
       a) Sin: "No, Mom I'm not going to do what you say" (Ephesians 6:1).
       b) Threatening: "If you keep telling me to do the dishes, I'm going to plug my ears and refuse to listen to you."
       c) Punish: "I'm not listening to you.  I said the dishes were not my job any more and that's how it is."

In the end I had to call in reinforcements.  I called my husband home.  He talked with our son.  He clearly laid down the law.  He wasn't going to put up with the treatment I received.  I don't always have the luxury of calling Daddy home.  Sometimes I have to bear through it and get done what I can.  I ache most when my school day gets shut down because things go so off course with a disobedient child.  But, listen up on this one: my child's heart will always be more important than school.  His sanctification, obedience, and righteousness will always be more important that Reading, Handwriting, Science, and History.  If he has to repeat a grade because his academics were hijacked from time to time then so be it.  His relationship with the Father will always be the primary reason I am at home with my children.  If I fail at that...then I have failed.  (Side note: Their salvation is not my responsibility; their spiritual training is.  Please don't misunderstand that bit.)

So I leave myself and you with this exhortation...
       1. Pray regularly.  Frequently.  Without ceasing.
       2. Draw near to Him in His Word.
       3. Believe that His work is being perfected according to His purposes
       and design.
       4. Thank Him boldly, richly, freely. Thank Him for everything. 
       We know not what each situation is for, but we can trust that
       everything--in due time--will bring Him glory.

"For our heart rejoices in Him,
Because we trust in His holy name." Psalm 33:21

Beloved, the aching days should place us at His feet.  And if that is the byproduct of a difficult, difficult day then glory be to God for that sweet, sweet posture of needing Him.  So hard to thank Him for those days, but right where we need to be.

Lord, I am not a fan of the difficult days.  I'll be honest.  I don't care for them.  They wear me down.  Forgive me for flailing about miserably when I try to work out all the details my way.  Forgive me for getting off course at times.  I need You.  I need You more than my body needs air to breathe.  I need You.  Teach me to sit at your feet.  Teach me to seek Your face.  Teach me to want You more and more.  Show me where and how I am to follow You.  I've got four precious blessings who are watching me.  Help me to humbly and imperfectly set the example that You have called me to set for Your name and Your glory alone.  I need You.  AMEN

Wanting more of Him,

Google Search Terms: encouragement, homeschool, Melissa Culver's School Daze


  1. hey melissa,

    wow. soooo thankful i ran across your blog via a link from somewhere - b'twixt and b'tween maybe? i am a brand new homeschooling mama and have been so encouraged by your words. i love your authenticity and candor. so thankful God allowed us to cross paths today! looking forward to coming back to visit :)


  2. Jen, so precious of you. Thank you for your sweet words. May He sustain you, encourage you, and provide for you in this magnificent season. Joyfully, m